I look in the mirror and wonder
How can so little be done
Such chaotic discord shifting my gaze
At every chance it can
Government proposes rule to strip away care
From me and my community
Reducing to acknowledge that gender affirming care
Applies to them just as much as it does to me
But work calls the next dayOne must contribute to the machine to survive
You can focus on this right?!
Collapse one hits the stage
Pass out crying in bedWondering how this timeline can be real
Wake up, force myself to eat
Call congressional representatives
Trying to help my community survive
Who knows what happened the next few days
The cycles of life an ongoing blur
Through joyous moments of cuddlesI grasp onto my queer joy
Breathing life into this dystopian world
Overcommitted. Frazzled.
Another prime source of joy and balance
Forcibly removed for an unknown time
Impacted by steel and cement
Just collapse. What else can one do?
The morning is wet with morning mist
Replicated across my cheeks
The overfilling of the cups from yesterday
Still not drained enough
Getting out of bed
Already adds too much to the cup
Do I go for a run and hope I can bounce back
Or maybe I can just make it through the day
My emotional poker face is shit
A run it is
Do what it takes to survive
More complexities and little joys
Excited for some plans
Thwarted by another random asshole
Transphobia? Misogyny? Car entitlement?
Who knows, but it hits hard regardless
Another change. Another dysregulation.
Oh that Autism. Sometimes she’s great
As long as the various forms of overwhelm
Stay relatively in their proper place.
Otherwise good luck on executive function
Unless it’s a dopamine mine to help sustain you.
It’s ok. Sometimes weeks are just rough.
Those seem to be happening a lot.
Time to cobble up those pieces of joy
Nourish the soul in preparation
Of surviving the week that lies ahead